I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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