So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
