just come out here and I will go home with you...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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