Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
