No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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