How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
