if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
