make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
