Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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