I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
