i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
