Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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