Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
