Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How does it feel to date your dad?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
