I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
