There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
