That's intense
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
