First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
