I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
