I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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