ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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