Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
