Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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