Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
