sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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