My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
