At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
