just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
