i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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