"it" just moved
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize