we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
