Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
