I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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