i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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