yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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