Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I want a musical about memes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
