none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
