Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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