Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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