Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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