Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
