i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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