He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You ruined the universe
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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