Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
