I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
