He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I believe in your delicious
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
