Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
