TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize