I understand Curling. That high.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
