I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
