Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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