just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
