i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
