weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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