I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
