I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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