are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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