I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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