Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
