Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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