No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
