We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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