Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
