the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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