I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
