My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Let's get the cat blown out
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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