I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
we're so committed to being not committed
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
